Family tree saga
One of the highlights of summer in Munich is the annual Tollwood Festival. It's a large affair held in the grounds of the Olympic Park, scene of the 1972 Games, and the accent is firmly on the multicultural (incense from India, beer from Bavaria, falafel from Lebanon...), with a 60's bias towards the counter-cultural (Arlo Guthrie, Jimmy Cliff, Rick Wakeman...). Tollwood is also a huge bazaar where one can buy the most unusual things.
For example, I went along yesterday and returned with a bonsai tree. To be precise, an Ulmus Parvifolia, otherwise known as Chinese Elm. Because of its "excellent branching characteristics", it's a favourite with bonsai fans. The twisted trunk and exposed roots give it the appearance of great age, although it is but a youngster, and the small evergreen leaves remain all year round. Best of all, it doesn't require too much care.
It was quite hot yesterday, so after the tree purchase and in need of refreshment I made my way to a Tollwood fruit juice bar and ordered a large glass of cooling kiwi-mango mix for 4 euros. The following exchange ensued:
Barperson: That's 5 euros. There's a 1 euro refund for the glass.
Rainy Day: Well, here's 4. I'm just going to drink it here.
Barperson: Sorry. I can't give it to your for 4. The refund is obligatory.
Rainy Day: Yes, but I'm not going anywhere with the glass. I'll drink it in a second and you can have it back.
Barperson: I'm sorry. It's 5 euros. Take the glass and this token to the counter over there and you'll get your refund.
In the end, I handed over the 5 euros. I was very thirsty. The amazing thing was that the barperson was just a teenage girl. But there was not a whit of humour in her manner, not an iota of flexibility in her approach. How do people develop such a ghastly attitude, such an unbending devotion to rules? Where do they learn it? Parents, schools, para-military organizations?
The incident reminded me of that famous scene in Bob Rafelson's Five Easy Pieces (1970). Bobby Dupee (Jack Nicholson), his girlfriend and two hippie hitchhikers stop at a roadside diner. Nicholson's Dupee wants a meal that isn't on the menu and this inimitable dialogue follows:
Waitress: I don't make the rules.
Bobby: OK, I'll make it as easy as I can. I'd like an omelette plain and a chicken salad sandwich on wheat toast. No mayonnaise. No butter. No lettuce, and a cup of coffee.
Waitress: Number two, Chicken sal san, hold the butter, the lettuce and the mayonnaise. And a cup of coffee. Anything else?
Bobby: Yeah. Now all you have to do is hold the chicken, bring me the toast, and give me the check for the chicken salad sandwich and you haven't broken any rules.
Waitress: You want me to hold the chicken, huh?
Bobby: I want you to hold it between your knees.
Waitress: You see that sign sir? [Pointing to a notice demanding courtesy from customers] I guess you'll have to leave. I'm not going to stand any more of your smartness and sarcasm.
Bobby: You see this sign! [He sweeps everything off the table.]
Damn! Wish I had thought of something similar when faced with the Tollwood obstinate. One always thinks of these things too late, though.
Diarist of the day: Noel Coward, 23 June 1965"There has been another high-flown debate in the House of Lords about suggested (idiotic) amendments to the Homosexual Bill, in the course of which Lord Montgomery announced that homosexuality between men was the most abominable and bestial act that any human being could commit! It, in his mind, apparently compares unfavourably with disembowelling, torturing, gas chambers, and brutal murder. It is inconceivable that a man of his eminence and achievements could make such a statement. The poor old sod must be gaga."
