Roysh! The Paddy's Day blog
Nothing like a few home thoughts from abroad for the day that's in it, which means dipping into The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Nightdress by Ross O'Carroll Kelly. So, the hero goes to Annabel's on Saturday night and chats up a bird, Leilani, and then goes "back to her gaff in Dalkey, do the business, casual sex and whatever you're having yourself…" But because she's into computers and Ross needs a blog, he arranges to meet her next morning in The Buttery.
The she goes, 'What have you got there?' and she nods at this, like, a stack of papers under my orm. I 'm there, 'Oh, this? It's just stuff. To be honest with you, I've been running around all morning looking for someone to set up a website. I suppose there is Gail, who's in UCD, but she has it pretty bad for me and I don't want to lead her on,' and straight away, roysh, Leilani goes, 'I'll do it for you,' and I'm there, 'No!' You wouldn't, would you?' and she's there, 'It's actually very easy, Ross. What kind of website is it?'We join the queue and we order two coffees, which Leilani insists on paying for, the total focking walkover that she is. I'm there, 'I want to put a diary online, if that's the word,' and she goes, 'Whoa! You don't mind the world's four billion people having access to your secrets?' And I'm like, 'Not my diary. Someone else's,' and she's there, 'Whose?' and I go, 'It's a friend of mine.'
Figuring that this might be an ethical dilemma for the red-haired Leilani, the caddish but worldly-wise Ross casually mentions that Peploe's has a new menu. That does the trick.
She goes, 'Sure. And his name's Fionn?' and I'm there, 'Yeah,' and she's like, 'I could call it Fionn's Blog,' and I go, 'I don't care what you call it. Just get it out there on the World Wide Whatever the fock they call it,' and I get up to leave. She goes, 'Em, what night were you thinking for, you know, Peploe's?' I'm there, 'Maybe the weekend. Just get that done, then call me,' and she goes, 'It should only take me a couple of days,' and I'm there, 'Whatever. Quick as you can,' and then I fock off.
You'll meet Ross O'Carroll Kelly tonight in every Resident's Bor in Dublin.
