"The name is Bond, Jane Bond"
Spying is a stressful business, as readers of John le Carré know. Even the hardest secret agents are vulnerable, the unsmiling George Smiley acknowledges, and they can be "turned" once the enemy has discovered their weak spot, be it toy trains, fine wine, fast cars or dirty pictures. But Mabel Maney has taken "turning" to a new plane. When James Bond has a nervous breakdown, 007's masters have to call in his lesbian twin sister, Jane, to impersonate him. That's what happens in Maney's unauthorized parody, Kiss the Girls and Make Them Spy (2001). No sooner does Jane Bond get her licence to kill, than she must thwart a plot against the Queen, but she's up to the job because she's assisted by two tough operatives, Bridget and Bibi, fashionista femmes who pack a lot of high-tech weaponry into their charm bracelets.
Maney followed Kiss the Girls with another Jane Bond adventure that sports an equally splendid title: The Girl With the Golden Bouffant (2004). In fact, Maney is the mistress of clever titles. Along with Jane Bond, she introduced the world to the Nancy Clue series, a lesbian parody of the Nancy Drew mysteries. Favourite title? The Case of the Not-So-Nice Nurse. Apart from her books, Maney is famous for the quote "For a long time I thought I wanted to be a nun. Then I realized that what I really wanted to be was a lesbian." James Bond never said anything as profound. And so ends our Fleming-Bond week. No more 007 here until November.
