Bernard Arnault to become a Lilliputian

Monday, 10 September, 2012

“According to Belgian law, a person can apply for citizenship after having lived in the country for at least three years. Citizenship can also be granted to someone residing abroad if the person can prove that he or she has real links with Belgium.” So write Geraldine Amiel and Gabriele Parussini in a Wall Street Journal article about Bernard Arnault, the CEO of LVMH Moët Hennessy and France’s richest man, who is said to be seeking Belgian citizenship in an attempt to escape the dismal leftist larceny favoured by François Hollande.

Bubbly! One French person who has “real links with Belgium” is the author Michel Houellebecq, but it’s highly unlikely that he’ll be seeking Belgian citizenship anytime soon if we are to take at face value what he wrote about the country in Lanzarote.

The narrator of the novel says Belgium is the European land that deserves to be hated most because it’s “a country that should never have existed”. The character that serves as a vehicle for Houellebecq’s odium is Rudi, a Brussels-based police inspector, fat and sad and the organizer of a paedophile ring. Houellebecq wouldn’t be Houellebecq without lots of explicit sex so Rudi is furnished with a pair of German lesbians for triple acts that allow the author to focus on their lady parts in clinical detail. To round out Lanzarote, Houellebecq is particularly dismissive of Luxembourg, home of both the perverse Rudi and the terrifying EU commissar, Viviane Reding, calling it “not even a country, more an assortment of dummy companies scattered over parkland”.

The situation in France must be truly awful if its most industrious people now feel compelled to seek refuge in any of these Lilliputian places.

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