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Think or Swim: part III

When he surfaced and looked back at the Malaga Barrier, Mao could see a major security operation cranking up. Floodlights were arcing out across the night sky, someone was barking commands, boat engines revved and helicopter rotors began to thump the air.

He shrugged off the two oxygen tanks, attached his face mask and scuba suit and let the lot sink into the dark water. Then, he took a risk: He fished the communicator out of his backpack, switched it on and waited for a location signal. But it was a calculated risk because the device was using Galileo, the flawed satellite navigation system the EUSA had introduced in 2013, after the American GPS had been outlawed. With luck, no one would lock onto him in this quadrant and even if they did, they'd probably get an inaccurate reading.

Galileo showed him that Nerja, a holiday resort to the east of Malaga, was the nearest coastal town. If he could make landfall somewhere below it, he'd throw on the change of clothes in the backpack and then break into an empty holiday home.

Calling up ProPedia and searching for Nerja, he found exactly what he needed: "Hacienda Brûlé... elegant, geometric structures ... wind-powered... muscular Finnish carpentry... Med-cool... linen... Nordic/Japanese... rest-space... workplace... best craftspeople from the Gulf of Bothnia... staff from... shuttle service... low-key utopian..."

Hacienda Brûlé He scanned another screen and turned off the communicator. It sounded perfect. Certainly too posh for guard dogs, not to mind armed security types, he thought. It probably had some kind of sensor fencing, and definitely retina ID, time locks and pressure alarms, all of which should not be that difficult to deal with. The real danger might be mature Scandinavian housewives prowling for anomalous sex. But after midnight?

He began swimming towards Spain.

Ploughing the rolling waves of the Mediterranean, Mao Kelly was, for the first time in five years, at peace with the world. Naked, apart from the backpack, he felt as if the had been born for the water, like the sea turtle, which can be found in all the world's oceans, except the Arctic Ocean. He'd learned that in primary school in Dublin.

His parents had told him that for many Chinese, turtles symbolise health and longevity. Maybe that was why they ate so much turtle soup. Meat, skin and innards, nothing turtely was wasted in the Kelly kitchen. Seeing turtles in your dreams meant something, too, they'd said, but he'd forgotten what.

An object brushed against his leg. Sea turtle? Not very likely in the fished-out Mediterranean? Mine? Very possible in the Mediterranean, given the low-intensity war going on between the EUSA and the Salafist Maghreb states. But a mine behind the Malaga Barrier? Unlikely. So what could it have been, then?

"Think or swim", he said to himself, and ploughed on.

When the clouds pulled back, he saw a silvery chain of pin-prick light stretching out along a dark shoulder of coastline. He was almost there.



Think or Swim: Part II

"You see," said the Iranian. "Is just 300 metres now. You never leave light trail. OK?"

"And you never leave light trail, either, mate," Ajani said, jabbing his big index finger into the Iranian's chest.

"Is good, friend. Is good," answered the submariner, stepping back a pace. The Irishman and the Nigerian turned their attention back to the path that led towards the outer edge of the underground wall, which looked white on the screen and grey through the sub's viewports.

Kelly had hooked up his communicator, in protected mode, to the sub's navigation system and as far the co-ordinates went, it seemed as if the Dutch engineer had been telling the truth. If the zig-zag route he'd memorized was accurate, they'd get around the barrier, alright. After that, it was blue water and an hour's freestyle swimming.

"Time to go," said Kelly. The Iranian pecked again at his keyboard and the door of what was once the sub's rescue chamber opened. Ajani and Kelly entered, checked their scuba gear, double-checked that their headlamps were working and triple-checked that their communicators were safe in the pockets of their waterproof backpacks. They gave each other the thumbs up as the door closed behind them.

When the red light came on, they pulled on their dome masks and switched on the oxygen. The chamber began to fill with water and the digital meters on the wall sprang into action. A minute later, the two men were out in the Mediterranean.



Continue reading "Think or Swim: Part II" »

Think or Swim: Part I

"Zoo kay to bury 'er." The Iranian's English buzzed in Mao Kelly's earpiece. The Irishman nudged Ajani and the big Nigerian turned to see Kelly tap two fingers against the palm of his hand.

They were just two kilometres out from the Malaga barrier.

0708morocco.jpg Forty minutes earlier, under a shroud of midnight darkness, the converted submersible vehicle that had formerly been the property of the British Royal Navy slid off the Moroccan coast, north of Ksar-es-Seghir. Now, it was nearing the drop point. Once discharged, the two passengers would swim around the underwater barricade and illegally enter the territory of the European United States Association.

Kelly had paid €300,000 for the trip but he still doubted that he'd ever touch the dry land of Spain. There were simply too many improbables. He didn't trust the Iranians who ran the mini-sub, and he wasn't convinced that the blueprint he'd downloaded in Essaouira claiming to show the location of the mines and sensors was genuine. The guy he'd dealt with on the grid said he was a Dutch engineer and that he'd worked on the EUSA project to build the Mediterranean fortifications that were meant to keep Africa from spilling under and over Europe's borders, once and for all.



Continue reading "Think or Swim: Part I" »

Graham Greene on men at work

Compared to joining the British army at the outbreak of World War II, the post that Graham Greene took up in the Ministry of Information was a soft option but it didn't prevent him from satirizing the bureaucracy in "Men at Work". In the short story, Europe might be falling under the Nazi jackboot and the Battle of Britain may be raging, but the central character, Skate, has to chair a Book Committee meeting. The agenda reads:

1. Arising from the Minutes.
2. Pamphlet in Welsh on German labour conditions.
3. Facilities for Wilkinson to visit the A.T.S.
4. Objections to proposed Bone pamphlet.
5. Suggestions for a leaflet from Meat Marketing Boards.
6. The problem of India.

The meeting is in progress when someone bursts into with news of an impending air raid:

" 'We must really get Bone's pamphlet out,' Hill said.
Skate suddenly, to his surprise, said savagely, 'That'll show them,' and then sat down in humble collapse as though he had been caught out in treachery."

The meeting breaks up; Skate goes to the window and looks up at the sky. As he contemplates the heavens, Greene has him deliver one of the most perfectly balanced sentences ever written: "Far up in the pale enormous sky little white lines, like the phosphorescent spoor of snails, showed where men were going home after work."

Graham Greene was sacked from the Ministry of Information after six months. He didn't complain. In 1941, he found the role that would determine so much of his life and work. He was recruited into the British Secret Service by his younger sister Elisabeth.



The dogsbody's dogsbody

Our recent opportunity to get to grips with Ulysses in its original context was rewarded in so many ways, and the quick dips into the book re-revealed the exhilarating mimetic power of the English language in the hands of a genius such as James Joyce. An illustration: Stephen Dedalus is walking along Sandymount Strand in Dublin when he notices a dog, belonging to a pair of cocklepickers, discovering the carcass of another dog that's been washed up by the sea. Now, savour this perfect mix of vocabulary, syntax and rhythm:

"Unheeded he kept by them as they came towards the drier sand, a rag of wolfstongue redpanting from his jaws. His speckled body ambled ahead of them and then loped off at a calf's gallop. The carcass lay on his path. He stopped, sniffed, stalked around it, brother, nosing closer, went round it, sniffing rapidly like a dog all over the dead dog's bedraggled fell. Dogskull, dogsniff, eyes on the ground, moves to one great goal. Ah, poor dogsbody. Here lies dogsbody's dogsbody."

Joyce's great gift is that he makes us perceive reality more clearly than we see it.



Ryszard Kapuściński's Open World

Last week, here, we paid tribute to one of the greatest journalists of our time, Ryszard Kapuściński, who died on 23 January. The latest issue of the New Yorker honours Kapuściński with "A Legendary Travel Writer's First Trip Abroad" and it contains some exquisite writing. Kapuściński arrived in New Delhi 56 years ago and was soon walking along sidewalks filled with more colour than could be found in the whole of post-Stalin Poland: "Here was a man who had laid out two rows of human teeth and some old pliers on a piece of newspaper, thereby advertising his dental services." From a bookseller, he bought Hemingway's "For Whom the Bell Tolls", which he thought would be "useful for learning English":

I returned to the hotel and opened the Hemingway, to the first sentence: "He lay flat on the brown, pine-needled floor of the forest, his chin on his folded arms, and high overhead the wind blew in the tops of the pine trees." I understood nothing. I had a small English-Polish pocket dictionary, the only one available in Warsaw. I managed to find the word "brown," but none of the others. I proceeded to the next sentence: "The mountainside sloped gently." Again — not a word. "There was a stream alongside." The more I tried to understand this text, the more discouraged I became. I felt trapped. Besieged by language. Language struck me at that moment as something material, something with a physical dimension, a wall rising up in the middle of the road and blocking my way, closing off the world, making it unattainable.

But Kapuściński adopted a new strategy. One that many language learners could learn from:

Cast into deep water, I didn’t want to drown. I realized that only language could save me. I began cramming words, night and day. I placed a cold towel on my temples, feeling as if my head were bursting. I was never without the Hemingway, but now I skipped the descriptive passages, which I couldn’t understand, and read the dialogue:

“How many are you?” Robert Jordan asked.
“We are seven and there are two women.”
“Two?”
“Yes.”

I understood all of that! And this, too:

“Augustín is a very good man,” Anselmo said.
“You know him well?”
“Yes. For a long time.”

I walked around the city, copying down signs, the names of goods in stores, words overheard at bus stops. In movie theatres, I scribbled blindly, in darkness, the words on the screen; I noted the slogans on banners carried by demonstrators in the streets. I approached India not through images, sounds, and smells but through words; and not the words of the indigenous Hindi but those of a foreign, imposed tongue, which by then had so fully taken root there that it was for me an indispensable key to the country.

If you, like us, can be spellbound by storytelling, "A Legendary Travel Writer's First Trip Abroad" will transfix you. Ryszard Kapuściński was truly a magical writer.



Ryszard Kapuscinski and his silva rerum

If you aspire to write about the world we find ourselves in, you should aspire to write, now and then, as the late Ryszard Kapuscinski (1932-2007) wrote. And you should, now and then, attempt to write about more than your petty obsessions. Most of us, alas, never manage this. Here's how he nailed our miserable failings:

Twenty years ago, I was in Africa, and this is what I saw: I went from revolution to coup d'Ètat, from one war to another; I witnessed, in effect, history in the making, real history, contemporary history, our history. But I was also surprised: I never saw a writer. I never met a poet or a philosopher — even a sociologist. Where were they? Such important events, and not a single writer anywhere?

Then I would return to Europe and I would find them. They would be at home, writing their little domestic stories: the boy, the girl, the laughing, the intimacy, the marriage, the divorce — in short, the same story we've been reading over and over again for a thousand years. You know, the other day I was reading about the novels that won the annual French prizes. It was incredible. None of these books had anything to do with our world, our reality — nothing. There was one about an unwanted child, and another about a boy, a girl, the laughing, the intimacy —"

In the course of an historically important interview with the then editor of Granta, Bill Buford, the late Ryszard Kapuscinski described what he did by resorting to the Latin phrase silva rerum: the forest of things. "That's my subject: the forest of things, as I've seen it, living and travelling in it."

Kapuscinski asked himself: "Why am I a writer? Why have I risked my life so many times, come so close to dying? Is it to report the weirdness? To earn my salary?" And he answered: "Mine is not a vocation, it's a mission. I wouldn't subject myself to these dangers if I didn't feel that there was something overwhelmingly important — about history, about ourselves — that I felt compelled to get across. This is more than journalism." Ryszard Kapuscinski was more than a reporter. He was a fearless witness and a great storyteller.



Gatsby again

Yes, yes, we'll come to Saddam later, but we don't want to spoil the morning by thinking of that very wicked man and the mass graves he filled with his victims, do we? Instead, we're kicking off today with a Rainy Day perennial, The Great Gatsby. An e-mail from James Graham is responsible this time as he alerted us to the fact that yesterday in the Washington Post Jonathan Yardley termed F. Scott Fitzgerald's novel, "The Greatest of Them All". Says Yardley:

In an extraordinarily compressed space -- the novel is barely 50,000 words long -- Fitzgerald gives us a meditation on some of this country's most central ideas, themes, yearnings and preoccupations: the quest for a new life, the preoccupation with class, the hunger for riches and "the last and greatest of all human dreams; for a transitory enchanted moment man must have held his breath in the presence of this continent, compelled into an aesthetic contemplation he neither understood nor desired, face to face for the last time in history with something commensurate to his capacity for wonder."

That famous passage -- every passage in "Gatsby" is famous -- is on the novel's final page, near the end of six pages of prose so incandescent as, in my case quite literally, to send shivers down the spine.

This is indeed the truth. Yardley adds that if "from all of our country's books I could have only one, 'The Great Gatsby' would be it", and he concludes his meditation with an excerpt, of which he observes: "Those words, and the few hundred others that follow as the novel reaches its end, seem to me now -- eight decades after that imagined first reading -- the most beautiful, compelling and true in all of American literature. Each reading of them is a revelation and a gift." Because the passage is so seasonal and sensational, it's worth repeating:

"One of my most vivid memories is of coming back west from prep school and later from college at Christmas time. . . . When we pulled out into the winter night and the real snow, our snow, began to stretch out beside us and twinkle against the windows, and the dim lights of small Wisconsin stations moved by, a sharp wild brace came suddenly into the air. We drew in deep breaths of it as we walked back from dinner through the cold vestibules, unutterably aware of our identity with this country for one strange hour, before we melted indistinguishably into it again."

Yardley writes, "If in 1925 I didn't gasp at that, there would have been something seriously wrong with me." Same goes for 2007. James Graham says of Gatsby, "Although I don't read much fiction I've decided to give it a second reading." You won't regret it, James. It is the greatest.



War and Peace, Russian style

Glas 40 War is brutal, but Russian war is something else entirely. Glas magazine, which promotes Russian writing in the English-speaking world, delves into the conflicts in Chechnya and the Caucasus in its latest issue — Glas 40: War and Peace — and it's grim but brilliant stuff.

One of the contributors is Julia Latynina, a talented and brave journalist, who specializes in exposing corruption in the Caucasus. Lawlessness, local mafia lords, totalitarianism and rebel chieftains populate the landscape here and Latynina pulls the patchwork threads together to make it all readable, and terrifying. She notes: "Russia's weak, hopelessly corrupt and incredibly venal state authority is gradually slipping down from the Caucasus Mountains — as grease slips off a dirty plate under a jet of hot water — exposing what has been there for thousands of years: a culture of mutual assistance based on clanship and family ties, barbarous cruelty, a cult of individual honour and blood vengeance — with the simple difference that now the blood vengeance is exacted using grenade launchers and Kalashnikovs."

Here's a memorable excerpt from Julia Latynina's novel Niyazbek, translated by Andrew Bromfield:

Gamzat nodded at the man who was being eaten alive by flies.
"What's happened to him?" asked Vladislav.
"A dog bit him," answered Gamzat.
Gazi-Magomed explained:
"They dragged him out of here and said: 'If you fuck a dog, we'll let you go'. So he fucked it. In front of everyone. But the bitch was in heat, and something inside her jammed tight. They got stuck together, and they couldn't get unstuck. The soldier was yelling, the dog was biting him, and the Chechens just laughed. So if they tell you to fuck a dog, don't do it. They won't let you go anyway."
Vladislav squeezed his eyes shut, and when he opened them, the copper stripe of sunlight on the floor had disappeared, and the only things glittering in the basement were the chains.
"Is he Russian?" asked Vladislav, looking at the man bitten by the dog.
"Yes," said Gamzat, and Gazi-Magomed added:
"They wouldn't do that to a Rutul, would they? Or a Lezghin? Or an Avar? If they did that to a Rutul, the whole clan would avenge him. But who's going to take vengeance for a Russian?"

Strong stuff, to be sure, but what's happening on Russia's borders is beyond belief. The Western media, transfixed by hatred of Bush and Blair, remains obsessed with Mesopotamia, which conveniently acts as a cover for cowardice in questioning what's going on in Chechnya and the Caucasus, so we should be grateful to those incredibly brave and talented people who put Glas 40: War and Peace together.



Trifles — a short story: Part 5

Want to come up to speed on the Rainy Day fiction serial? Read part one, part two, part three and part four before tackling the ultimate episode.

It was said the Aggie Lone, MacK's mother, had not been outside the house in twenty years. After her husband died following "questioning" by the authorities in the Barracks, she handed over the running of the family pub to her eldest son and spent her life indoors, leafing through a prayerbook swollen with sepia photos of departed that it was customary to circulate around that time. She made haphazard appearances in the bar, when "her own people", as she put it, were down from the mountain and she emerged to play cards one night a week during the winter months when a goose or a turkey was the main prize.

Neddie didn't mind the musty old woman with the white skin and blue lips even though she always insisted on holding his hand. When he'd manage to withdraw it from her clasp, folded paper money would be his to pocket. It was a small price to pay.

"Stop! You shouldn't. You're too good," Granny would say after seeing the note, protesting that the times were too hard to be giving money away to "young fellas" who didn't know the value of it.

Often, however, when sitting beside the fire at home, Granny would draw down the subject of Mrs Lone and Neddy would detect a change in tone.

"That one's rotten with money," she'd say bitterly, adding mysterious elaborations such as, "Two brothers clerics, a sister a minister and another a counselor. All they have is what they can take from the poor people." And this was just the start of the invective.

As Neddy toyed with his glass of lemonade, tilting it to see how far he could slant it before spilling some on the table top, the two old women continued to whisper. They had knowledge and their topics were necessarily clandestine: deaths, wakes, burials, funerals, families, graves, cemeteries, certainties. Sometimes, to leaven the conversation, they discuss pains, ailments and complaints, after which they'd list the youthful that had died too soon and the elderly that had lived beyond the expected span. Young girls who "got caught" were another favourite and although Neddy wasn't fully sure of what was involved, he could sense that it was scandalous.

Two hours would elapse, usually, before MacK would approach their table, mutter something into his mother's ear and withdraw. The message was then transmitted to Granny. It was time for them to go home.

The house was packed, filled with smoke and talk and overflowing with life. Some of the men were still sweating from their exertions, dabbing their foreheads with handkerchiefs and lifting up their hats and caps to run fingers through their matted hair. Most of them held bottles, which they raised high before tossing the pungent drink down their throats. Mr Ford and Mr Taylor were washing their hands in one corner, passing the yellow bar of carbolic soap back and forth, lathering their arms and Neddy noticed that the water in the large enamel pan had a rosy tint.

In the back room, some of the women were scrubbing the walls and the floor using wire brushes. Their buckets of suds reeked of Jeyes fluid. They chattered gaily, which added a semblance of normalcy to the chore of cleaning up after a truthing. The others were brewing big pots of tea and heaping plates with sandwiches.

The pliers The sideboard was lined with knives, which Nolie Doland was shining and drying with two kinds of soft cloth. Opposite her, Janey Kennerflock held the pliers up to the light and was removing something stubborn from between its jaws with a sliver of metal. The ropes were soaking in two black buckets that were filled to the brim. Again, the reddish hue.

Neddy wandered back into the parlour where he was suddenly grabbed by Mr Dinlaye, who shaved only on Sundays.

"I'll sandpaper you, me lad," said the old man laughing and he rubbed his bristles across the boy's right cheek while embracing him. Face red and smarting from the assault, Neddy stumbled back against a chair only to have his wrist caught by Mr Grifford, who kept the big dog that the men brought their smaller dogs to when they wanted pups. He quickly shoved his hand down the front of Neddy's trousers.

"Anythin' stirrin' yet?" he leered and winked. Neddy gaped at the huge red head under the dirty hat, stepped back, saw his father in the corner and wriggled his way through the crowed room towards him.

A time would come in a place far away when he was in the middle of crowds, walking between purposes, thinking of all the things he had to do, visualizing lists and inwardly crossing off items, when the light in the evening city sky would suddenly take on a certain tinge and it would all flow back. Or it might happen when music escaped from an open window. But it has to be something modal. Then, the past that no one admitted to, with all the cries that had gone unheard, echoed around him. What was the meaning? He couldn't recall. At this distance, it was futile and inexplicable. He'd sometimes cry when he was on his own, but the tears weren't for the informers and their suffering. He wept for that moment when everything was perfect and he was at the centre of the world. He could taste the loss.

Neddy snuggled in beside Granny in her fireside armchair. Tommy Potter and Tommy Parsons had taken out their instruments and were settling on the tuning that was preferred for the region's minor music. Soon they'd launch into "The Starry Monster," everyone's favourite. Now it was almost bedtime, but not quite yet. The best part was coming.

He saw his mother approaching. The crowd parted as she made her way towards Neddy. There was much head nodding and smiling in his direction and murmurs of "He's the lad," and "Afraid of nothing" could be heard. She handed him the dish first and then the spoon. He smiled before digging down through the large splash of cream that covered the trifle and gathered up an amount he judged wouldn't spill on the way back up. It tasted of? Everything nice and something else, too. Something faintly metallic, perhaps? No, something else entirely. And then he had it. It tasted of secrets.



Trifles — a short story: Part 4

Arriving late for the Rainy Day fiction serial? Here's part one, part two and part three.

A helicopter thudded the air in the distance. A convoy of grey-black military vehicles was nosing its way up along the Glen road. When the basket became too heavy he placed it on the ground and switched carrying hands. Neddy could see all way to home now across the light green, dark green mosaic of fields. Someone was moving sheep up the hill and a dog barked.

Only once had he been stopped by a patrol. It wasn't long after they'd started doing the runs to Rathbones. The third trip. His mother had made a rhubarb tart, but in a flat, deep tin as opposed to the usual round, shallow one. They were trying out different ways of moving identity papers.

The vehicles were angled across the road just past the Bend. It was then that he noticed the soldier lying beside the drain, his face smudged with green and brown paint. Another was kneeling near a furze bush. They held their weapons with a casual, professional boredom. Four more were standing around the lead van, chatting and smoking and all of them seemed to welcome the sight of Neddy.

Although they spoke in his direction, he couldn't make out what they were saying because they were talking into their helmets at the same time. Crackled chatter spilled out from another part of their headgear so he proffered the basket in the hope that it was what was expected of him. The smallest one indicated that he should place it on the road — "Not there. Here. Understand? Here!" — and when he was satisfied with its positioning, another one of them came forward and moved a metal bar backwards and forwards over it. Neddy noticed another muzzle pointing directly at him through the hedge on the right-hand side of the road.

The biggest of the soldiers bent down, removed the dishcloth that covered the tart and placed his palm on the surface. He raised his hand to his mouth, swallowed and smiled before wiping his face with his sleeve.

"Merciful hour!" said Mrs Rathbone, when he showed her the cratered rhubarb tart.

"A black man!" said Mr Rathbone, "That's a terror!"
"Are you sure he was black?"

"As black as the ace of spades," answered Neddy, pleased that he was quick enough to use the adultism.

Despite their concern, they didn't hesitate to send him home with a bowl of trifle containing an embedded pair of pliers.

pliers Much later, he concluded that someone inside the army had provided a tip off about the road block and that was why he had been sent out to meet it. The incident would be logged and future patrols would not waste time on young boys carrying food baskets, although there was the danger that word of the delicious rhubarb tart might get around. But everything involved risk.

"What kept you, Neddy?" asked his mother when he walked into the kitchen with the basket. The welcome sounded gruff, but it was filled with maternal concern. Love isn't always articulate, he was to learn. He picked up a crust of bread and began to chew on it, while telling her about the fall and Anastasia Rathbone's treatment of the cut knee.

"Go on, now," said his mother, after checking the dressing, "Granny's waiting for you."

The parlour was filling up. The big men, Nightly and Made, had arrived and were already rolling up their sleeves. It was their job to strip the informer, drag him to the table, heave him onto it, bind him with the spancels and hold him down during the interrogation. Like most men blessed with extraordinary strength, they spoke softly and their conversation was marked more by silences than by sentences, but they filled in the spaces with glances and nods. Tomorrow, in preparation for the Town cattle sale, they'd be grappling with mountain animals that could cripple a man with a kick or the swipe of a horn so they had developed an asynchronous approach to deeds and words.

"Neddy, will you come on?" called Granny, crossly, rising from the fireside seat, bending over her stick. It was time to leave the truthing.

Although he was part of the operation and while he had a very good idea of what was involved in its final stage, he was not allowed to be a witness.

In the words of Aunty Breedy, Neddy was "a sensitive child" and she wanted him to go places, to do well at his books, to avert his eyes and ears from sadism. Right now, that meant he'd have to leave and lead his grandmother down the road to the Green Tree.

MacK, the owner, nodded at them from behind the bar as they entered. He filled a glass with lemonade and began to fill a much smaller one with sherry. As they watched the dark liquid rise, the door behind him opened and an ancient, almost translucent figure began to emerge.

Next week: The END



Trifles — a short story: Part 3

First time visiting the Rainy Day fiction serial? You can read part one here and part two here.

With the trifle in the bowl and the bowl in the basket, Neddy was ready for the road. All he needed was his corduroy jacket, which Mrs Rathbone was holding and inspecting concernedly. Another button missing? Opening it, closing it, shaking it, turning it inside out.

"Your mother put in the note?"
"Inside the lining," answered Neddy, testing the weight of the basket, anxious to be going and annoyed by the question.

"Well, I can't see it," Mrs Rathbone said, advancing, holding the jacket wide open, the lining exposed. "Look at that."

Neddy saw that she was pointing at the safety pin, which gaped open — bare like an unfurnished fishing hook.

Before he could articulate the inference that was forming in his mind, Mrs Rathbone got there first.

"It sprung open when you fell and the note came out," she said.

"Jesus, Mary and Holy St. Joseph! We're done for now" exclaimed Mr Rathbone, as if he'd been prodded into consciousness by something hot and sharp.

"Will you be quiet," scolded said Mrs Rathbone.
"Tell me again where you fell, Neddy."

He recounted his route: along the Top Road, down by the Bower, up the back of the Main, on past the Wires… the sudden shower, running, stumbling, examining his knee, picking out some of the smaller bits of grit…

"I'll be back in a minute," said Mrs Rathbone, putting on a headscarf as she moved across the room.

"If anyone calls, tell them I'm gone over to Ehgans," she commanded Mr Rathbone, and closed the door.

The wall clock ticked and the two generations looked into the fire as if expecting the glowing coals and wavering flames to reveal something about the crisis. And, after a while, they did.

As Neddy saw it, the red-hot fire was what informers would have to live with for all time, once they had told the truth and after they'd been cut up. That much was obvious to him. But the constantly changing flames, dancing across the coals, sometimes merging, sometimes shooting up and then sinking back into themselves also said something about informing. If only he could decipher their message. And then it came to him.

Finding informers and getting them to tell the truth was something everyone was involved in. Next to doing their jobs, going to the church and playing their games, nothing was as important for the people of Above, Below and Behind as truthing and, for some, it was much more important than jobs, church and games, because it was more interesting than all them put together. The jobs were drudgery, the church was cold and the games ended in predictable fighting.

pliers But finding informers. Now that was different. It demanded concentration, observation and the use of logic. Neddy knew that the simplest way of catching them was by watching houses, because informers used certain ones. Another giveaway was things. Informers sometimes had nicer things in their homes than their neighbours. Given that the money for these things could only have come from collaboration, everyone knew that this was a reliable indicator of treachery and the fact that almost all the informers caught in this way screamed the loudest and cried the most and kept on saying that they had said nothing to nobody confirmed their guilt. Still these were not the ways by which the majority of informers were caught. No. Most of them were trapped when they "made a slip", as his mother put it. This could be word or a glance, and outsiders would have no idea of what was revealed, but those in the know knew.

Slowly, disconcertingly, it began to dawn on Neddy that he might have made a slip on his way to fetch the trifle.

"The note fell out of your coat?"

He could almost hear Mr Power mocking him as he flexed the pliers before he began the interrogation.

And Neddy could hear his own stammering answer, "Yes, it fell out when I fell."
But anyone could say that, couldn't they? He wanted to pee.

Suddenly, Mr Rathbone stabbed his walking stick into the coal bucket, which came alive with a snarl.

"Blast you!" he shouted at the black cat as it jumped across the fireplace before disappearing behind the opposing armchair. A few minutes later it was seesawing itself across the backs of Neddy's bare legs, purring, its tail raised and twitching. It was a pleasant sensation and he'd have enjoyed it much more if the thought of being ripped asunder by half dozen hard men whose search for the truth knew no limits wasn't so preoccupying.

The door opened. It was Mrs Rathbone. He wanted to burst out crying, but he didn't.
"Neddy," she said.
He expected the men to enter the room any second now.
"Put on your coat. They're expecting you at home."

"Are you letting him go?" asked Mr Rathbone, and Neddy was certain he detected an undertone of disappointment in his voice as if the old man had been looking forward to seeing blood spilled and now sensed that it wasn't going to happen.

While fixing his coat, and settling the dish cloth around the ceramic bowl, and ruffling his hair, and placing her rough hand tenderly on his sore knee, she said odd things like "Will you look at you now?", and "It'll be fine before your twice married."

Simultaneously, and displaying no apparent difficulty in keeping two conversations going, Mrs Rathbone spoke to her husband over Neddy's head explaining that the two Ehgan girls had retraced Neddy's route and found the note exactly where he said he had fallen. They were certain that it hadn't been opened because they checked with the lads who assured them no patrol had been past the Wires that day. They boys were watching as they'd placed a culvert bomb there and it hadn't gone off yet. A week later, the two girls would die when, as the official report put it, "a victim operated improvised explosive device" blew up as they cycled past that very same spot.

"Now, off with you," said Mrs Rathbone, "and don't let that basket drop, whatever you do. And make sure you take the Bottom Road this time. And tell your mother and father I was inquiring for them."

She was still issuing advice as he looked back for the last time at the doorway framing the two elderly accomplices to dozens of murders who had been joined by the black cat.

Next week: Part 4



Trifles — a short story: Part 2

Arriving late for the Rainy Day fiction serial? You can read part one here.

"Neddy! Come in," invited Mr Rathbone, "And close the door after you."

"Anything strange in Newhouses?" the old man asked over his shoulder, turning and limping towards the parlour, his walking stick tapping the way.

This was Mr Rathbone's ritual question and Neddy, never sure how to respond, answered, as always, "No. Nothing strange at all, Mr Rathbone."

What made something strange, anyway, he had often asked himself? Was it strange that he had seen Nindeen shoving his tongue into Nans Oran's mouth one evening when he had gone around the back of the school and she hadn't stopped him? Or was it strange that Mr Tobined would arrive at his house later in the day with his big knife for the sticking?

As soon as he was grown up he'd leave Newhouses and go somewhere strange so that he'd be able to come back and answer Mr Rathbone's question properly. He'd been looking at Master Linch's maps and had decided that any place called Luxembourg must be very strange, although not so big that he'd get lost, so he'd go there.

He'd return after a year with lots of presents for everyone, of course. Optical switches and printed circuit boards that the lads could use for cleverer blowing up, and he'd make a special effort to find some of the things the dentist used for prodding inside people's mouths and making them cry. Silver ones. Thin, with cross-looking sharp ends angled like the beaks on those African birds that can stand on one leg all day and were pictured on the middle pages of his nature book. They'd be far better than the pointed sticks Mr Taylor used for getting the truth out of the informers. Wouldn't break as often, either. For his mother, he'd get a…

"Neddy!" greeted Mrs Rathbone as she came in carrying a bucket of coal in each hand. "What in God's name happened your knee? Sit down there and I'll put something on it."

A minute later she was handing him a large slice of barmbrack and a glass of lemonade. As he ate and drank steadily, she returned with an enamel pan filled with warm water made milky with Dettol antiseptic and began to dab the blood-crusted skin with a soft cloth that had once been part of a nightshirt that was now too small for Mr Rathbone.

"How's your mother and father?" she asked.
Oh, fine, Mrs Rathbone."

"They're great people," she declared, dabbing all the while, and going on to tell him and Mr Rathbone, who was looking into the fire, chin resting on his stick, what fine parents he had. Hard workers. Careful. Decent. Bright. The praise made him happy. Years later, when he was making a living by making things up, he realized she was telling him that his people were far more intelligent than the country gave them credit for. He also learned in Luxembourg that such a moment of unexpected manifestation when we become aware of our history or ourselves was called an epiphany and it became one of his favourite words.

pliars Mrs Rathbone spoke rhythmically and ceaselessly, which was why they didn't interrupt her, as she recalled great-grandfathers long dead, cousins in the Big City, aunts emigrated to Beyond and relations of relations of relations who had married men and women from Below and Behind. She described the bad times before liberation and the worse times after liberation and emphasized how tough the people had to be. Neddy looked down at her grey hair tied up with a blue string as she knelt on the cold floor applying a white powder now to the wound. She told the small room with its ticking wall clock and her audience of two about his uncle Joe John who had been shot by the liberation army as he crossed the big hill near Oldhouses late on a winter's evening, and how he had lain up there for two days in the mud, bleeding his life away, conscious of his coming death, before they could bring the body down to wake him. Which he once though meant the person was sleeping, but since then he'd been to lots of houses with Granny where people were crying and giving each other tobacco and glasses of the strong stuff and he'd learned that those lying in their timber boxes being waked weren't sleeping. It just looked like it. Unless their faces were broken. In which case the boxes were shut.

"He was very good looking," she said. "Had a great head of hair. A bit like yourself." She ruffled Neddy's head and he reddened.

"Make sure you mind that knee now," and she went off with the pan.

When she came back, she held the large white ceramic bowl containing the trifle in front of her. "Now look at that," she urged with a proud smile, placing it on the table.

Neddy peered over the edge and into the pond of red jelly that formed the flawless surface of the dessert. Under the top, he could just make out the quarter-moon shapes of whitish pear slices resting on the brown fingers of Mrs Rathbone's sponge cake, sliced and soaked in sherry, which gave body to it all and held the parts together so solidly that the trifle could almost stand on its own if taken out of the bowl. And in the middle, hidden from view, was the pliers, Suspended in sweetness it lurked, jaws clenched, waiting to emerge and bite finger nails later that day.

Next week: Part 3



Got six words for you now

Reaction to Rainy Day's brave (?) plunge into the world of fiction has been mixed. But, undeterred, we're determined to plough ahead. Part 2 of our horror (horrible?) story will appear here next Wednesday. Why break it up into weekly postings? Well, Dickens was a great man for serializing his works and who could ask for a better role model? To be sure, blog posts are not to be compared to the great wodges of text the gallant Victorians were able to consume, but these are less than heroic times.

Talking about wordiness, did you know that Hemingway once wrote a story in just six words and is said to have called it his best work? Here it is: "For sale: baby shoes, never worn."

Another hero: Ernest Hemingway, American author.



Trifles — short story: Part 1

His mother asked him to run over to Anastasia Rathbone's for a bowl of trifle. There was to be a truthing that evening and Mr Power would be needing Mr Rathbone's strong pliers, which he liked to use when working on an informer. So he walked along the Top Road, humming, keeping an eye out for liberation army patrols and trying to think of something that might be nicer than buttered bread sprinkled with white sugar. A kitten just as its eyes are ungluing was nice, especially as it couldn't really bite or scratch. And the hot water bottle that made the bed feel like it was on fire was almost better than everything — but only when he had chilblains.

pliers It began to rain, so he began to run. Which was when he fell. Which was when the note his mother had pinned to the lining of his corduroy jacket came loose. Not that he noticed. The gravel that had embedded itself all across his kneecap required concentration. He had been knocked down often enough on the school yard to know how sore gravel could be. The knee was every bit as bad as the elbow, but not as bad as the forehead, but none of these was as bad as the Jeyes Fluid his mother used for treating the gravel cuts. Breen's mother put mercuricome on grazes, which smelled much nicer, but because of the truthings and the disinfecting that had to be done after the informers had been cut up, Jeyes Fluid was all they had at home.

Old Mr Noody, who visited twice a week for tea and a chat, always sniffed the air when he came into the kitchen and always said, "Jaysus Fluid!" It was the only original thing he had ever said but no one laughed at it anymore. Still, when most of those who didn't laugh anymore at Mr Noody's witticism went to the store and ordered the disinfectant from Mrs Ruane, they'd shout "Oh, and a bottle of Jaysus Fluid, Mrs!" And everyone would laugh out loud if it was one of the funniest things they'd ever heard.

Next week: Part 2



At the enchanted metropolitan twilight

The annual re-reading has been completed, but the glow from the beautiful metaphysics of Fitzgerald's prose lingers. Take this paragraph:

I began to like New York, the racy, adventurous feel of it at night and the satisfaction that the The Great Gatsby constant flicker of men and women and machines gives to the restless eye. I liked to walk up Fifth Avenue and pick out romantic women from the crowd and imagine that in a few minutes I was going to enter into their lives, and no one would ever know or disapprove. Sometimes, in my mind, I followed them to their apartments on the corners of hidden streets, and they turned and smiled back at me before they faded through a door into warm darkness. At the enchanted metropolitan twilight I felt a haunting loneliness sometimes, and felt it in others — poor young clerks who loitered in front of windows waiting until it was time for a solitary restaurant dinner — young clerks in the dusk, wasting the most poignant moments of night and life.

To his great credit, Jay McInerney has spent his life trying to emulate this. What a spectacular benchmark he has set himself! It is not his fault that he has never matched it, however. But who has? With Gatsby, published 81 years ago, Fitzgerald achieved the miracle of sounding contemporary while appealing to an audience that had grown up reading Henry James. The genius of the book is that it continues to sound contemporary. Fitzgerald wrote in the shadow of evil and no one who reads The Great Gatsby can put it down without feeling a sense of dread. Not just for those who would lose their fortunes in 1929, but for those who would be dragged into war in 1939. As we get ready to mark the fifth anniversary of the slaughter of 3,000 men and women in the city of "enchanted metropolitan twilight", his observation about "the most poignant moments of night and life" rings true across the decades.



The Henry Winter of our discontent

Chekov advised writers that descriptions of landscape should be sparing, while Elmore Leonard begins his "Ten Rules of Writing" with "1. Never open a book with weather." Henry Winter, the football columnist of The Daily Telegraph, has read his Leonard and Chekov. His reportage on the Champions League Final last week confirmed that. Take this:

"So full of confidence as they arrived in Paris on Tuesday, Arsenal found only darkness on the edge of town last night." Nice tip o' the hat to Springsteen, that, eh? But we're only warming up.

"All Arsenal's pride at their run to the final, all that self-belief rooted in a defensive defiance that had brought 10 successive clean sheets was replaced by a searing pain chilling them to the core." Do "sear", which means to "to burn or scorch something with an application of intense heat" and "chill", which means "to make somebody or something become cold, usually unpleasantly cold" belong together? Yes, if you're good. And it gets better.

"After years of searching of struggling to meet Europe's refined demands, the Londoners thought they had discovered Shangri-La on the banks of the Seine, particularly when Campbell headed in magnificently after 37 minutes." Factoid: Shangri-la was the name given to an imaginary land in Lost Horizon (1933) by the English novelist James Hilton. And now, the cream de la cream, as they used to say on Fleet Street.

"But Barcelona had other ideas. Just when Arsenal were hoping to march from Highbury to their new Ashburton Grove home through the Arc de Triomphe, they were run off the road by a Spanish street-car named desire. Eto'o and Belletti forcing Wenger's men down a boulevard of broken dreams." Hollywood, here we come!

But enough. Well, OK, then, one more gem. Here's how Winter ended his epic, which appeared last Thursday in the Irish Independent: "Desolation engulfed Arsenal". Proving, as if proof were needed, that everyone turns to the Bard in the end.



How would Galbraith have blogged?

What kind of blogger would John Kenneth Galbraith, the economist and intellectual, who died on 29 April aged 97, have made? We get a hint from his obituary in this week's Economist:

"A devotee of Trollope and Evelyn Waugh — 'Scoop' was a favourite — Mr Galbraith strove to perfect his prose, reworking each passage at least five times. 'It was usually on about the fourth day that I put in that note of spontaneity for which I am known,' he once admitted."

A spontaneous blogger in the sense of Trollope, then, is what Galbraith would have been. BTW, Anthony Trollope churned out some 50 three-volume novels despite holding down a day job at the British Post Office (he invented the pillar-box) that saw him spending spells in the West Indies and Ireland. According to his autobiography, he achieved his remarkable output with a writing regime of three hours a day, starting at 5am. Those who enjoy lampooning life would do well to keep this piece of Trollopian wisdom in mind: "The satirist who writes nothing but satire should write but little — or it will seem that his satire springs rather from his own caustic nature than from the sins of the world in which he lives."



"That's not writing," Beckett snorted,

"it's plumbing." No fan of the mashup, Sam, who would have been 100 today.



Happy New Year!

Rainy Day wishes health and happiness to all its loyal, and rebellious, readers! Will the blogging continue here in 2006? This diary entry made on 1 January 1829 by Sir Walter Scott reveals all:

Having omitted to carry on my diary for two or three days, I lost heart to make it up, and left it unfilled for many a month and a day. During this period nothing has happened worth particular notice. The same occupations, the same amusements, the same occasional alterations of spirits, gay or depressed, the same absence of all sensible or rational cause for the one or the other – I half grieve to take up my pen, and doubt if it is worth while to record such an infinite quantity of nothing. But hang it! I hate to be beat so here goes for better behaviour.

In that spirit, then, we will carry on and we hope you'll visit and comment, now and then.



Off with their quotation marks!

With sales of "Eats, Shoots & Leaves" topping three million copies and counting, Lynne Truss is not to be trifled with when it comes to punctuation. Recently, in The Daily Telegraph, she had this to say: "Punctuation is a form of politeness: a writer who includes punctuation is a writer who remembers, considerately, that a reader shouldn't have to do all the work of sorting out what he is trying to say." What would she think of this, then?

Tales of the old west, he said.

Yessir.

Lot of people shot and killed. Why were they?

Mr Johnson passed the tips of his fingers across his jaw. Well, he said. I think these people mostly come from Tennessee and Kentucky. Edgefield district in South Carolina. Southern Missouri. They were mountain people. They come from mountain people in the old country. They always would shoot you. It wasnt just here. They kept comin west and about the time they got here was about the time Sam Colt invented the sixshooter and it was the first time these people could afford a gun you could carry around in your belt. That's all there ever was to it. It had nothin to do with the country at all. The west.

We're in Cormac McCarthy country here and much to the horror of Lynne Truss the master of the Western prose ballad has eliminated all quotation marks from his writing so that the narrative voice and the characters' speech aren't separated anymore. To add insult to the Trussian form of injury, McCarthy also does very nicely, thank you, without lots of the other bits and pieces of punctuation, especially the comma, as we pointed out on 23 July this year. Maybe this makes McCarthy "impolite" but it doesn't detract from his greatness. Of course, Lynne Truss is not pitching her products at the creative writing market, but her readers might benefit if she lightened up now and then and showed them a few examples of the beauty that can emerge when rules are broken. I mean, she will never write a sentence as gorgeous as this: "There is a moonshaped rictus in the streetlamp's globe where a stone has gone and from this aperture there drifts down through the constant helix of aspiring insects a faint and steady mix of the same forms burnt and lifeless." Suttree.

Or what about this: "They were running on the plain harrying the antelope and the antelope moved like phantoms in the snow and circled and wheeled and the dry powder blew about them in the cold moonlight and their breath smoked palely in the cold as if they burned with some inner fire and the wolves twisted and turned and leapt in a silence such as if they seemed of another world entire. They moved down the valley and turned and moved far out on the plain until they were the smallest of figures in that dim whiteness and disappeared." The Crossing. Case closed.



On this day with Norman Lewis

The great British travel writer, Norman Lewis, who died two years ago, had an uncanny eye for the beautiful and the bizarre. What makes his work memorable is this ability to observe people as they exhibited all their grandeur and flaws. If you would like to experience Lewis at his best, read Naples '44, his diary of a year spent in the city at the end of the Second World War. An excerpt:

23 September 1944 When I first moved into the hotel I noticed that Don Enrico, enthroned in his wicker armchair in a position in which he could keep under observation every person who entered or left the hotel, occasionally groped in his pocket to touch his testicles on the appearance of a stranger. This, Don Enrico explained to me, was a precaution — commonplace in the South, but frequently practiced by Northerners, including Mussolini himself — to ward off the evil eye. On two or three occasions in the last week I have noticed women hastily cover their faces with a scarf or a veil at my approach, and scuttle past with averted faces. This, apparently, is how women deal with the problem. Now, this evening, coming into the hotel, I found a row of half a dozen regulars — Don Enrico included — sitting under the palms, and at the sight of me I seemed to notice a sly movement of every left hand towards the right side of the crotch. A disconcerting confirmation of loss of favour.

Perfect.



The quick brown fox

From "The First Cuckoo", a collection of letters to The Times since 1900, we get the following exchange, which began on this day 52 years ago:

From Mr. N. H. New

Sir,

I am embarking on a project to teach a young African French, and to allow him to practice typing at the same time. But is there a French equivalent for 'the quick brown fox jumped over the lazy dog'?

Yours faithfully,
NEVILL H. NEW
September 21, 1953

From Mr E. A. Paterson

Sir,

On the margin of the instruction card on a portable typewriter I bought in Calcutta in May, 1949, was typed: 'Zoë ma grande fille veut que je boive ce whisky dont je veux pas.'

Your obedient servant,
E.A. PATERSON
September 23, 1953



Pseud's corner

Harry Eyres, who writes the "Slow Lane" column in the Weekend section of the Financial Times, tends to lay it on with a trowel but he surpassed himself recently with an account of a "three-month poetry-writing sabbatical" he awarded himself in a Spanish village "within sight of Morocco". As we know, poetry writing can be exhausting so the inevitable happened. That's right, our 'Arry "succumbed to the age-old imperatives of the Andalusian summer." He fell asleep, in other words. Here's his epiphany:

The subversive power of the siesta can be disconcerting. It reverses the logical order of things, reintroduces the shadowy forces of dream and reverie into the daylight hours that should be ruled by reason.

When you enter the realm of the siesta, you never know quite what you will find or in what state you will emerge. Sometimes I used to wake from my siesta perfectly rested, ready for my late afternoon walk along Bolonia beach and my swim in the cool Atlantic. Sometimes walking felt like being dragged back from some half-remembered place, a recess of memory or the past. I would feel drugged, heavy and drowsy — the state described by the Spanish word modorra, or Mallerme's "motionless lazy swoon."

You can think of the siesta as part of the universal human commons, a free space of reverie and infinite fancy not yet colonised or commodified by the powers that would expropriate those commons and sell them back to us."

Isn't that final sentence hilarious? So pompous, so meaningless, so, well, poetical. Yawn. It's a hard life, that of poet and FT scribe. Here's Harry on his crushing routine: "After a morning of birdwatching, reading, writing, buying my lunch at the Facinas market (wonderful little fresh jureles) and cooking it, I would allow myself to sleep it off, to sleep everything off, to sleep off years of a rhythm and a routine that had never seemed especially natural or congenial." Yawn. I'm going back to bed.



So, farewell then, Raoul Duke

Last Sunday, Hunter S. Thompson, the inventor of gonzo journalism, killed himself. Matthew Hahn, a freelance writer from Richmond, Virginia, arrived at Thompson's home in Colorado on the evening of 15 July 1997 and began an interview that extended into the early hours of 16 July. "A glass of Wild Turkey and ice was placed in front of me — for elocution purposes, of course," wrote Hahn. In "Writing on the Wall: An Interview With Hunter S. Thompson", which appeared in The Atlantic (subscription required), we learn that Thompson foresaw the blogging phenomenon:

Hahn: The Internet has been touted as a new mode of journalism — some even go so far as to say it might democratize journalism. Do you see a future for the Internet as a journalistic medium?

Thompson: Well, I don't know. There is a line somewhere between democratizing journalism and every man a journalist. You can't really believe what you read in the papers anyway, but there is at least some spectrum of reliability. Maybe it's becoming like the TV talk shows or the tabloids where anything's acceptable as long as it's interesting...

...You can get on [the Internet] and all of a sudden you can write a story about me, or you can put it on top of my name. You can have your picture on there too. I don't know the percentage of the Internet that's valid, do you? Jesus, it's scary. I don't surf the Internet. I did for a while. I thought I'd have a little fun and learn something. I have an e-mail address. No one knows it. But I wouldn't check it anyway, because it's just too fucking much. You know, it's the volume. The Internet is probably the first wave of people who have figured out a different way to catch up with TV — if you can't be on TV, well at least you can reach 45 million people [on the Internet]."

"He did not give 'a flying fuck' what he smoked, or ingested, or did, but there was a thoughtful side," writes the The Economist in its Thompsonesque obituary. Thompson's hero was Hemingway, and in 1964 he had made the long journey to Ketchum, Idaho, to the writer's grave to "understand why Hemingway had killed himself in his cabin in the woods, and concluded that he had lost his sense of control in a changing world." His crystal clear conclusion:

"It is not just a writer's crisis, but they are the most obvious victims because the function of art is supposedly to bring order out of chaos, a tall order even when the chaos is static, and a superhuman task when chaos is multiplying... So finally, and for what he must have thought the best of reasons, he ended it with a shotgun."

The Hemingway connection featured prominently in David Carr's appreciation in the New York Times. "The Thompson Style: A Sense of Self, and Outrage". Carr ends thus:

"And his suicide had its own terrible logic. A man who was so intent on generating a remarkable voice that he retyped Hemingway's novels just to understand how it was done, gave a final bit of dramatic tribute in turning a gun on himself."

Hunter S. Thompson's masterpiece is Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas, which follows the writer, using the pseudonym Raoul Duke, and his psychopathic Samoan attorney, Dr. Gonzo, as they travel to cover a bike race in the Nevada desert. In the trunk of their Bronco, they have "two bags of grass, seventy-five pellets of mescaline, five sheets of high-powered blotter acid, a salt shaker half-full of cocaine and a whole galaxy of multicolored uppers, downers, screamers, laughers.... A quart of tequila, a quart of rum, a case of Budweiser, a pint of raw ether and two dozen amyls," which they consume during their trip. When he arrives at the race, Thompson sees that there is no way that it can be covered in any conventional journalistic sense due to the drugs, the heat, the dust and the insane nature of the event itself. Realizing this, he writes:

"It was time, I felt, for an Agonizing Reappraisal of the whole scene. The race was definitely under way. I had witnessed the start; I was sure of that much. But what now? Rent a helicopter? Get back in that stinking Bronco? Wander out on that goddamn desert and watch these fools race past the checkpoints? One every thirteen minutes...?"

This is the journalism that made Thompson unique: facts and rhetorical questions. The reader has to imagine answers and images. At its best, it was original and intoxicating and to preserve the narrative, he purposely submitted his copy long after deadline to prevent too much editing. In his prime, the multiplying chaos was an asset. In the end, we should remember him in his prime.



The New Yorker eats, shoots & leaves Lynne Truss

In the current issue of The New Yorker, Louis Menand analyzes the grammar of bestselling author Lynne Truss in an article that's at times hilarious, at times inspiring. Here's how "Bad Comma" begins:

The first punctuation mistake in "Eats, Shoots & Leaves: The Zero Tolerance Approach to Punctuation" (Gotham; $17.50), by Lynne Truss, a British writer, appears in the dedication, where a nonrestrictive clause is not preceded by a comma. It is a wild ride downhill from there.

Warming to his evisceration, Menand leaves blood on the floor and on the walls:

Parentheses are used, wrongly, to add independent clauses to the ends of sentences: "I bought a copy of Eric Partridge's Usage and Abusage and covered it in sticky-backed plastic so that it would last a lifetime (it has)." Citation form varies: one passage from the Bible is identified as "Luke, xxiii, 43" and another, a page later, as "Isaiah xl, 3." The word "abuzz" is printed with a hyphen, which it does not have. We are informed that when a sentence ends with a quotation American usage always places the terminal punctuation inside the quotation marks, which is not so. (An American would not write "Who said 'I cannot tell a lie?'") A line from "My Fair Lady" is misquoted ("The Arabs learn Arabian with the speed of summer lightning"). And it is stated that The New Yorker, "that famously punctilious periodical," renders "the nineteen-eighties" as the "1980's," which it does not. The New Yorker renders "the nineteen-eighties" as "the nineteen-eighties."

That's pretty bad, but worse follows. Ladies and gentlemen, the indictment:

Then, there is the translation problem. For some reason, the folks at Gotham Books elected not to make any changes for the American edition, a typesetting convenience that makes the book virtually useless for American readers. As Truss herself notes, some conventions of British usage employed in "Eats, Shoots & Leave